.Wednesday, January 31, 2007 ' 11:50 PM Y
I hate it when memories that I wish to forget comes back to haunt me. What makes me real pissed was that it wasnt me who sparked up the fire.
I never wrote such a harsh blog entry thus to all my viewers, please pardon me should there be any vulgarities, if any.
I received a parcel on the 1st week of January 2007. Having no idea who was it from, I proceed to Tampines Post Office to sign for it. (If I knew who it was from, I rather not collect it at all) Ok. So I did sign for it. After which I realized it was from KT. To me, the parcel did not mean anything to me. I had no feelings no excitement upon receiving the parcel. I forgot that I received this parcel the very next day.
I did not rendered any wild imaginations that Hey prob this person is trying to tell me something. I TOTALLY just chug the contents aside.
Just today, I was having class, he called me up. Thinking it was juz a normal call, I picked it up. He has the cheeks to even call me up! The conversation started off quite ok although I was a little half hearted talking to him. Shortly after, he shot me a blardy question. We have a common friend and this friend happened to know that I had rooms to rent and this friend met up with him. So I duno how I came into the picture and that this friend mentioned that I had rooms to rent. KT didnt know who she was talking about so she juz blurted out, Nor..Susan lor *in a friendly tone* . So he tot that I went blabbering about him to this friend. I was like come on lor, you aint even worth to be in my memory. I would rather be dead than tok abt u, u worm!
This bastard then called me up and started telling me that he dint mean anything by sending that parcel to me. I could not contain my anger as it started to boil at an enormous rate. I shot back and I clarified that I do not give a damn to his parcel, I merely chugged it aside and totally forgot abt it. I reassured him that he was and WILL Never ever be in the conversation between the common friend and myself. HOW DARE HE SUSPECT ME! I will not waste a single drop of saliva talking abt him to this common friend. He continued saying he sent the parcel out of a friendly act which I cut in shortly saying that, in future, dont waste any efforts on it because I do not give a damn. What is going on in his pea brain?! He stepped into my territory and yet have the cheek to point his blardy finger at me?! Pls get a life! Im not as childish as u think, Idiotic! Do not cross the line drawn. This conversation went on from City Hall until Kallang MRT. I think I got a little too heated up and pple standing beside me knew I was in an argument.
I was SOOOOO Pissed that im being maligned and wronged until I could not control my tears. All of sudden, the influx of past memories juz came back like a fallen dam. All of sudden, I forgot the reason y im still living on earth. For that moment, I lost it with myself. I allowed my emotions to take over me again. I hate it! I HATE IT! I totally despise myself. Y am I so weak? I started to tear in the MRT, finding it hard to control, I kept looking up to the top of the train, hoping no one sees me and trying to force the tears back. I wanted to pour out my feelings but if I did, I think it would be super ugly and embarrassing. It was so tough. I really felt lousy y couldnt I be more sarcastic? I wanted to fight for myself but the feeling of being maligned overwhelmed me so much that I could not defend for myself. Work is like that, Personal also like that. Whats wrong with me?!!! After that, he still can sms me saying that he juz wanted to create a conversation out from this topic. Pls go fly kite la! Shit. Im going to be at work with puffy eyes.
p.s : I don’t give a hell damn to the parcel, given a choice, I would have let it rot at the PO and let it die from natural death.
Sorry for cursing…
