It's AGAPE Love..;

.Thursday, November 30, 2006 ' 11:02 PM Y

I have made up my mind. Nothing is going to stop me now. I am as determined as an ox. I am going to conquer my fear.

I have decided to cut up that papaya that has been on the dinner table!!!!!

I should have taken the pictures of that particular papaya ! Wasted! You would ask what is so scary about slicing up something that is so sweet and nutritious? Most girls love it for obvious reasons. Shant go into too much details. Ok here comes the part. I fear cutting up papaya because of the following reasons :-

1) The look of the seeds is terrible!
2) You may get white wiggly worms in it.

I noticed a few holes on the outer skin. So I gave myself some mental preparations that I will be expecting worms. I laughed at myself the way I cut that papaya. It was really gross lor. Imagine there were 2 palm sized area which were “worm-penetrated”. You could see the holes and when I dug out the infected parts, there was this HUGE FAT WHITE worm apart from several other smaller worms. I almost fainted on the spot!

At last, I managed to salvage only a few pieces of papaya flesh which was still “safe”. I used a spoon to scrap the seeds out….. Trust me, my goosebumps surfaced when I did that. Hopefully I wont go thru that again.

I take this opportunity to salute ALL papaya cutters. Utmost respect for u….

loved

.Wednesday, November 29, 2006 ' 4:58 PM Y

Went for a movie last nite.. STEP UP! It’s a really good show.
It illustrates tough choices we make and how to we make our lives better. It’s not luck it is really up to us. Are we willing to make a decision that would hurt people’s feelings (temporary) for smtg good in future?

Was supposed to meet Cinz for makan today but Sanz was back from Aust thus she needed to spend time with him. Furthermore, it is his Bday today! Happy Birthday! So the more she should spend time with him. Thus tot it is a good day to get things sorted out. Going to pick up my dad’s stuff. Get some of my stuffs and prob head home to heat up the chicken curry dad brought out from JB for me. Yummy. Cant wait for evening to come.

Jetstar Asia is having their 2007 promotions. Air ticket to Bali is SGD154.00 +. So tempted to go for a holiday but I Must control… control.. Mind over body. I will have my well deserved holiday in no time to come.

Time passed so slowly at work for me. Justina Dar is going for her study leave and exams, no one to chat with me in office le. Sobz. *sings Madonna’s ..Time goes by, so slowly. Time goes by, so sloooowwwwlllliiieee* All the best in her exams!

loved

.Saturday, November 25, 2006 ' 4:53 AM Y

Yippie! Exams are over! I have finally reached the final leg of my race. The dash to the finishing line. I tell myself this year I must be consistent with my project and subjects. NO MORE LAST MIN WORK!
Met my polymates for makan on Saturday, Brandon came back frm Thailand, so tot it was a good opportunity for a class gathering.

Met at Marina Square and we had PIZZA HUT! Followed by the sinful chocolate fondue from Andersen's! My God... an additional 2kg to my weight. Sighz.

I must restart my swimming schedules again le!

Went back to work on Sunday to clear my backlog. Phew, lucky I cleared it or else my Monday will be bluified even more. Farnie thing is that, I was looking back to going to work. Keke. Farnie but true.

Thanks Ling for the nice collage of my candid shots. Can remember I had so much problems finding poses cuz im NO POSER! lol...

loved

.Thursday, November 23, 2006 ' 11:57 PM Y

Something which I always enjoy doing when im alone. Cooking! I cant cook up a feast for sure. Just smtg simple and nice to fill the tummy. Whipping up own dishes would mean that I cook it the way I like it. Duncha hate it how stingy some restaurants can get. I wish to have more mushrooms. I wish it had more sauce. My wish shall come true. Went to the market to do some homework. Wanted to see what kind of ingredients i can get there. Planning to try out new stuffs which I have yet to try. So wish me luck! Upcoming event : Tom Yam Soup. I cant really take spicy but for the farniest reason, I love Laksa, I like Tom Yam. Although usually after eating, I will get swollen sausage lips. Bright RED!

I happened to have some tomato sauce in the fridge and some spaggetti at home, so i tot of juz cooking up my own dinner for today. Bought some hamburger patty and my favourite mushrooms and voila! I shall have Beef Bologonese with Swiss Brown Mushrooms sprinkled with Paramasan Cheese!! I needed to juz chill before my next paper and the predicted back log clearing days next week. So I tot that I pamper myself a little. Watched ICE AGE II when I was eating my long deserving dinner. So farnieee... esp the part where the Mammoth impersonates a Possum! muwahwhhwa.. thinking of it now juz tickles my farnie bone....After a good luff, I told myself that I cannot be sad anymore le. Laughter is the best medicine, thou I wished I had Pepperoni Pizza instead but im easy going. Pasta works equally as well... *BURP* im so full.... Cant imagine I finished up the whole bowl! I almost licked up whatz at the bottom of the bowl. Im hungry thatz all. Famished!

I wanna watch Step Up!! Its soooo sleazy.... but i like!

loved

. ' 4:13 PM Y

Another paper buang! BUANG BIG TIME! Think im a natural born buanger. *Roll my eyes*

At times like this, I wish I can whine to someone.... not juz anyone but that special someone. Where are u... dun play hide and seek le wor... kekekke... ok la. I can complain to Mr Blog in the meantime too. Thou I dun get replies from Mr Blog at least he lends me a space for me to shout out!

Not really in the best exam condition thou... Been thru some incidents which kinda affected me. However, I want to shout out that i am proud of myself that i aint someone who hangs pple upside down! I rather truth hurts now rather than later. If you think its easy for me, pls think again, it is definitely NOT! At some points in time, one has to make decisions, be it fair or unfair. I could have kept mum to myself but it would be considered damn selfish. So i cleared the air. Am I wrong? Did I do anything wrong? Pls call me MISS UNDERSTOOD!

I have to resign to fate that no one is able to comprehend whatz brewing inside me. I hate feelings! I hate it I hate it I hate it! How I wish at times I dun get defeated by my own feelings cuz its the aftermath that I have to deal with. Alone once again. I hate it when I dunno what I want! I hate it worst when I know what I want but no matter how hard I try, it runs further from me. oh my soft shell crab handroll, pls dun run away from me.... my soft shell crab handroll... my lunch.... sobzz... ahahhaha... sorry I need to add a little humour to this. Too much tears..too much sadness... too much too much.... Y did the chef put wasabi in my soft shell crab handroll? Doesnt he knows I hate wasabi? Now i have teary eyes and runny nose. Sniff Sniff....

Haha okok. Back to reality. I wanted to blog this down last nite but I was afraid that I will regret my decision instantenously. So I decided to write this today. Thou I saw the CHanges that were done, i will not allow it to pull me down. I have escaped from the dark forest previously and no way I will allow myself to walk into another dark forest without a security light and my light bearer.

Going to meet Meimei for swimming later. The weather is going against me lor. Finally I decided to go swimming directly after my paper and Yes, u guessed it, it poured Apes and Monkeys! Tot of getting a tan but looks like I have to settle for Moon Tan instead...

loved

.Wednesday, November 22, 2006 ' 11:54 PM Y

Do you believe in Old Wives Myths? My mama used to tell me :-

Do not point at Mr Moon!!!

Do not break the mirror

Do not look into the mirror when u r eating

When you break a glass, sprinkle salt over ur right shoulders

One of the myths which I always gena is Do not Cut Nails At Nite!!

What wil happen then? Your poor vulnerable feet will kick into smtg real hard and that pain is excruciating!! The pain travels from my little toes right up to my brain! You cant blame me right, cant expect me to be lifting my legs up to cut my toe nails in office mahz.. of cuz have to be done at home. I hardly see daylight at home...

Just now I think my legs are getting heavier. There is an elevation to the entrance of my toilet and somehow my lazy legs are so heavy that I had problems lifting them up. In the end my left foot hit onto the metal frame of the door. OUCH is juz an underestimation. I stood still for about 30 seconds cuz my whole body was numbed up!

*wraps bandage on my toe*

Another problem with AMO Complete Moisture Plus Cleaning Solution! Aiyo, when are all these problems going to end? I still have 3 new bottles! Gee... but i think it should be safe for usage since it wasnt the problematic batch.

Should i go KL with them? I really miss KL le. Miss the sale that goes on every yr. Miss Sungai Wang. Miss Bintang. Miss Petaling Street. Miss the Crunchy Stingray plus Stir Fry Hor Fun. Miss the Lo Han Guo Drink.... soooooo many things which i miss soooooo much there... oh well... see how ba....

2 more papers to go... Aza Fightin!

loved

.Tuesday, November 21, 2006 ' 11:55 PM Y

Dear Blog,

I think I am just the biggest fool on earth.
The more I reach out, the further the distance gets
The more I hope, the greater the disappointment is
The more I search, the more I seem to be lost

Just when i tot things may hav gone on track, i stopped and took a step back and realised, Hey, probably this is not the right path for me.

People always say, Time is a invisible healing factor. It will never fail but what if it does? Im not referring to myself but to whoever that is out there defeated by time. You may think that u have hurt the most, think again, indirectly its causing even more hurt to people around you. Especially when the level of hopes were raised and then crushed.....

Give me some hope, give me some light

Give me slight enlightenment.

Somebody pls tell me wad to do.....

Yours sincerely,

XS

loved

. ' 10:35 PM Y

I am going to test myself! Going phoneless for 3 days!!! Have we realised how much we rely on our handphones? It is as if the handphones own us instead of the other way round. During my sec sch days, there were no such things as handphones, even carrying a pager was considered a luxury. Im returning to my primary school days, the days of no handphones, no pagers!! I will survive *plays I will survive by Cake*. Going phoneless has a few advantages.

1) Less distractions (especially its my exam period now)

2) No "Cooking of HP porridge"

3) Uncontactable when im outside

So my countdown starts now..... *tick tock tick tock*

I misss my hp......................................

loved

.Saturday, November 18, 2006 ' 2:40 AM Y

First paper is down. Despite it being one of the modules which i tot I could score at, I think i fared pretty badly. Topics which was often discussed were totally left out. All the unexpected or rather, ULU, questions popped up instead. Well, i have not referred back to what i have missed out writing in my answer script cuz wadz the point?

Was soooooooooo exhausted after the paper. I think I was a bad case of info-overloaded. I had too many things mumbled jumbled up and it all got mixed up as a result of last minute cramping. It is a usual sympton right? Oh well....

Lucky for me, I was juz in need to escape from books a little when I got the opportunity to watch The Prestige. I was dying to watch that show. It seems that the whole world watched it cuz it is a good show. Thus those who, by chance, have not caught this movie. Its worth it! (Suz gives it 4 NACHO Wedges!) . Im sooo looking forward to movies this season. A couple of light hearted movies which are suitable for everyone in the family! It has been sometime since I have last caught a movie with my little bro, Bryan. I still remembered he asked me to acc him to watch Too Fast Too Furious, however I was on my way to class. He sounded disappointed but at the same time relentless, saying that, if i dun acc him to watch, he will have to watch it alone wooorrrr....(muz emphasize on the wooorrrr!). I told him i realy had to go for class so he replied ok and hang up the phone. After 15 mins, he called up again, asked, u reli reli reli reli dun wanna acc me to watch ah? I shook my head and let out a series of giggles! Thatz my cute lil' bro.

P.s : he hates it when i call him lil' cuz he aint lil' at all!

loved

.Wednesday, November 15, 2006 ' 9:23 PM Y

I received a surprise email today and it was about tears. Would like to share it with all my good darlings and pals who are reading it. It also serves as a reminder to Guys that if your girl is crying over smtg sad, pls, DONT STOP HER, you will save her life..! You may think its some baloney that im writing but researchers have found out that SAD TEARS contains enzymes that are found in tumours, ulcers and other such lumps and bumps and sickness through out the body. By flushing them out when you are sad, you are lowering your risk of having these deposits stored elsewhere.

This is definitely something new for me to learn cuz I dint know that. So all of u K-dramas queens out there (including myself), Keep on crying and keep on watching sad dramas! LOL...

Probably that is the reason to my recent ulcer outbreak, im not crying enuf! Boo! I should start it as a new hobby, Crying...

I have to agree that I have a permanent spoilt tap. I cant handle emotional roller coasters, especially if it concerns pple dearest to me. It is definitely one of my biggest weakness. I wish at times I can look even stronger by not dropping a single tear, but I have failed pretty badly on that. I would always cry alone in the dark hoping that no one would see me ugly. This is the aftermath of watching too much dramas, Life isnt fair, how come those korean actress could cry so beautifully? Whereas for me... Disaterous! Its a Tyhoon-Hurricane-Tsunmai combo hit! Messsy! To think of it, i only broke down badly in front of 2 pple and i mean literally down. One was my dad the other was my Big Bro. Thou they couldnt do much (thank God they dint stop me from crying) but their presence was enough for me.

Guys tend to -Siam- when girls cry, y is that so? Y isnt there someone who isnt scared when a girl cries? Is it really that scary? Discuss [100 marks]

loved

.Tuesday, November 14, 2006 ' 10:25 PM Y

Today was a good day to b out at the beach. Enjoying the light sea breeze, great sunshine, applying some suntan lotion to my Sigh-its-ugly body. I NEED TO SUNTAN!! Ok. that is the ideal situation that i hoped to be in but sadly i am on my way to the library.... Even if i aint, i would most probably be working my A** out in the office.

I am quite thankful for this module that im taking on Globalization and how it affects International Business. It has made me take notice of what is going around the world. Like the recent HOT issue in United States, the Democrats has taken control over the House of Representatives and The Senate. This was a huge loss to the Republicans. You may think y am I discussing this. Have you thought of how this issue is affecting us in Asia? US bilateral ties with Asia, which has been ongoing under the Bush administration, are affected. For example, Democrat Senator Charles Schumer of New York and Republican Lindsey Graham has recommended a Bill that imposes a 27.5% import tariffs. However, this Schumer-Graham Bill has been on hold during the Republican-led Congress. Now that the Republicans have taken over the Congress, it is easier to impose this Bill and two dozen over Bills on imports.

I thought to myself, this is on a Global View, but how does it affect me. Now that the talks on a Free Trade between America and Malaysia is on hold, this means that I still need to apply for a VISA if i want to visit the US. LOL.... but that does not stop me from going there in yr 2007! The only thing that is hindering me apart from having a hard time saving up for it, is getting leave for the trip. Should I go alone? Mayb I would end up backpacking there, but of cuz mommie would definitely not agree to letting me go alone... oh well.. lets see how

Actually, events that are going around the world has both direct and indirect impacts on all our lives. How we choose to keep up with what is going on is solely up to us. For me, after keeping up with the recent happenings around the world, I realised how vulnerable one can be in this world right now. The biggest thing to happen is the China-ASEAN Free Trade Area which is ongoing at the moment. They are targeting to meet WTO's deadline to form this FTA by 2010. Once again, you would think how is this going to affect us again in Singapore? Singapore among all the nations is the most industrialized nation. In the short run, Singapore is going to be the biggest loser as it open up its doors to Free Trade in the China-ASEAN agreement. People in Singapore may face a high chance of losing their jobs or even keeping their jobs when this happens. (LOOK OUT IN YEAR 2008). Thus it is really crucial for us to constantly upgrade ourselves in order to keep up with this trend that would make us vulnerable. It is a Dog-Eat-Dog world, we have to keep ourselves afloat in this big ocean. Most importantly, never give up!

loved

.Sunday, November 12, 2006 ' 11:26 PM Y

juz finished my grp study @ NUS . Been studying from 12pm to 10.30pm... but thankfully it is a fruitful discussion. Thanks to Eric (Angie-s bf) who has been givin us Easters a lift home. Saved us a lot from taking a cab back home.

Smtg happened today. I finally saw smtg which I have been wondering, when will i see it? The Yellow Coloured Plate. It was just in front of me. Thou I told myself not to see it any further, it just came naturally to still wanting to see it. After the turning, I told myself that, I have to let go, I have to let it go. It will never come back to me. Please dont misunderstand me, I am serious when I say that. So I let it go, I sat back into the back seat and looked at the scenery instead. Then i realised how much scenery I have missed out cuz I have been blinded by the wrong things.

I wanna apologize to N. Sometimes its hard to answer for things which I myself cant find the answer to. It is not that I dun wanna answer but i dunno how to. Knowing where your stand pt is, it makes it even harder for me. I will do what I am supposed to do. I am clear headed and I will stand strong to my beliefs too. I know by doing this, I will end up hurting people whom I never intended too but it is the only way for happiness ahead. I understand your concern over recent matters but I will set things rite again. I ask for nothing but your forgiveness and your forgiveness is all I ask for. No matter what happens in future, I know u will be happy for me.

Right now, I jux wanna shut everything up. Im unwilling to be who I used to be. Who doesnt want to have a clear answer rite? I just wanna start from nothing and to build a new me. No one is going to help me on that except myself. No one, only me! Please do not make me give up the slightest hope I have for myself for I was left with nothing. NOTHING.... juz let me be... juz let me be.....

I was reading thru Keng-s blog and for someone to do smtg which he has nvr done before, it only means that smtg has made him change his viewpt. People keep stressing, Cherish what you have right now. I couldnt help but agree with him totally.

The unexpected happens when u least expected it. Be it good or bad. For only me, have the answer...

loved

.Saturday, November 11, 2006 ' 8:07 PM Y

Im officially known as the Walking Zombie for at least till 25th November!

Im juz plain tired tired tired tired tired.... My eyes start to water for no apparent reasons. Im beginning to look like China-s National Pet, THE PANDA, period!

Beginning to hallucinate and think of the impossible things that can happen. Mood detoriates. Immune system down.

Once again, feeling like im all locked up in my own world. Low on words, short in speech. Pimple outbreaks are inevitable. Appetite down but weight going up, it is farnie how that is possible. Nevertheless, I never forget to call up my family members whom I have been staying apart from. Miss them a whole lot... Grandmama was telling me to come home soon and that she bought a kampong chicken waiting to cook it for me. Sighz.. wishing i could rush back home this instant but what am i doing? Blogging rooster instead!

Bought myself a mini organizer for the Year 2007. Time to think about new year resolutions! Hoping for a better year ahead.

Tired tired TIRED..

-Walking Zombie Suzzie signing off-

loved

.Tuesday, November 07, 2006 ' 4:51 PM Y

Morale : Low
Mood : Low
Motivation : Low
Energy : Low
Surname : LOW

Im so worn out. Im feeling so hard to breathe all of sudden….

Help….!

*DING* DONG* Help came… Dad gave me a call and asked, What do you think if we go out of Singapore for George Bday. YIPPIE!
We are planning for a one night getaway to either Batam (Turi Beach) or Desaru (Sebana Cove). Thou its for one night only but still a getaway….

MY DREAM GETAWAY : TO TAKE A SKIN DIP @ Banyan Tree!
Ok la, dun need Banyan Tree but to go to a resort with my very own pool… Woo hoo! It is a dream anyway, no harm dreaming… kekekke *escapes into my dream*

loved

.Thursday, November 02, 2006 ' 3:12 PM Y

Im a one hell of a confused brat. Y am I always finding myself caught up in difficult situations, always finding hard to find the answers which I need. I said smtg which made Justina Darl almost come running to me and to scream at me.. sorli.. I juz say for fun nia. Ok I shall not hide, I told her that he updated his blog already, she was saying how come u still call him so politely, she rephrased my sentence, oh so –HIS FULL NAME- updated his blog ah? Wahahaha, so farnie the way she put it. I do not deny that I still wanna know that he is doing well. Seeing him able to smile better than he was with me, I am contented. I will juz tuck him away in one little dusty corner. Psst, I love your grouper drawing, in PINK somemore wor..

Went to celebrate Xiao Bai-s bday at Zouk last night. It was totally crazy! The legendary Mambo Night never fails! A pity that I still need to work the next day. Yes, im super tired now and I have to go for a briefing later on my final yr project at Queenstown. Cant wait to pounce onto my comfy bed, cover myself with comfy blanket and cuddle up with comfy garfy! Woohoooo. Im suffering from the after effects. My tummy feels like a front load washing machine, I think I will puke again. If not that headache wont subside…..

Ok, I admit im a bitch! I dun like pple telling me things halfway and then stop right there leaving me and hanging me there. The feeling is similar to Bungee Jumping, dunno when to jump and when its about to jump the person tells u not yet not yet.. Who do I have to blame except myself because im guilty of doing such things too. I am trying to change this bad habit of mine. So to anyone who does that to me, I will just ignore it and whatever message which was intended to be brought across to me, I will reject it! Ignoring it as well. So jolly well dun come and ask me y im pissed cuz it will just make me roll my eyes further. So if you have not made up your mind to tell me anything, please stop and think carefully on whether you wana tell me or not.
Actually im not angry or really pissed just that I dun like being kept in suspense, it feels damn terrible lor… (im saying this to myself also) . I will change this and I hope it will be for the better.

Your cooperation is greatly appreciated. Thank you and have a nice day.

loved