.Tuesday, October 03, 2006 ' 2:59 PM Y
I wanna thank 2 people whom give me 2 surprises yesterday evening.
You came down to accompany me to sch, knowing that you may end up late for your dinner. I know y you came down instead of waiting to go for your dinner. Despite my continuous plea to ask you not to wait, you still waited. Thanks a lot. That Marigold Mango Drink is sure filler and a stopper for us from going into Daiso. Wakkaka.
Thank you for coming down to accompany me home last night. Knowing that I needed someone to talk to on my lonely journey back, you came down with just one motive, to cheer me up. It is really nice to have someone to send me home and thanks for reminding about the molester case in Tampines lor… Thou you told me that you happened to be around my sch area but my sixth sense tell me otherwise. However, I still appreciate the way you try to hide the real truth so that I would not get paranoid over it. Thanks for being understanding that y I did not want to stay out so late and yet still insisting that you want to see that im home safely. Im really touched I must have reli made you worried again huh….Thou I was not really in a talkative mood, you just told me that you will do the talking so I need not worry about the talking.
It is a Dull and Down Monday Night but thanks for making it right. God seems to know when to beam angels down for me. Im so glad for friends whom are still willing to stand by myself, making me happy instead of pin pointing on my mistakes. You are right, there is no one to blame except myself. I chose this path myself. Im unwilling to open up because of some reasons which I myself find it hard to explain. If I cant find the answer myself, there is really no one to help except myself. It is not that I dun wanna help myself but I just dunno how to…I dont wanna grab onto a bar which looks new but yet rusty inside… I will never know…. Things come fast, go fast too. Who really accepts the real me, for who I really am? You may like what u see now but u may hate whom u see in future, do you think im willing to take that risk once again? I will, but how can I be convinced?
I have been asking myself too y is it so hard to believe again? Y Y Y? Y cant I trust completely again? Y Y Y? Y is it that wadeva things I do, I will be wrong somewhere? Y Y Y? Probably I will only find my answer when I feel lost without you. Probably I will only find my answer if I can no longer be strong without you. Probably I will only find my answer when I realize that you mean more than anyone to me..but where are you?? How come I still cant feel that kind of impact? Who will cry with me? Who will just hold me close when im down? Do you know it when im down? What to do when im lost?
All I know now, I cant do without my friends whom has shown so much support and love to me. Despite all my whining you all have constantly encouraged me. Special thanks to Justina, Angela, HW, Peng, Mei & Ling whom has given me so much more than I expected. Deep from my heart, I wanna give all of u big big hugs & kisses….
